Avoid confusion by creating agreements

Have you ever known the answer to a problem, but have a hard time convincing someone else? Or perhaps you’ve asked for something, but it wasn’t fulfilled as desired. Have you known of someone that made a “hand-shake” deal with “friends” or “family” that went terribly wrong?

The work of working with people can be confusing and challenging. Each party has their own expectations, which can be a time-bomb for any project or relationship. More often than not, misaligned expectations end in regret, distrust, and failure.

Try replacing expectations with agreements.

Before a joint venture starts, make explicit agreements and boundaries by working together to uncover each other’s hidden expectations about the venture. Then, use them to brainstorm, create, and record agreements that work for everybody.

In conversations, I ask “do you agree with…” questions to make sure I’m on the same page with someone. Tiny, conversational micro-agreements help identify where expectations diverge.

An important aspect of an agreement is the ability to change it when new information and situations inevitably arise. All parties should raise agreement-risking concerns as soon as possible to safeguard trust. Armed with the new reality, create a new amendment to the agreement that satisfies all parties.